Coach Calling: Feeling blindsided by life's curve balls? Fall back on these three solid tips to stay in control

6th Aug 2022 07:27 AM | Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj


Be it a spiritual pandit or a corporate pundit, the one thing that they all preach about when it comes to CHANGE is that, it is the only constant in life. I definitely agree as we're constantly evolving day in and day out due to various factors, experiences and exposures. But... what do we do when the CHANGE is sudden! When we are not prepared for it or it is too drastic? 

I decided to touch upon this topic looking at the fate of CUET students who rushed to the exam centres all prepared to give it their best only to find that it was cancelled without prior intimation, via a notice stuck on the gate. Also, the NEET exam centre which received a lot of flak as it made girl students remove their innerwear before taking up the exam.

I truly understand the shock that one might be in, as the entire FOCAL POINT is shifted to something that wasn't even in the PICTURE in the first place. 

Hence, I've decided to share my three tried and tested tips to manage these kinds of situations better in the future. 


Don't lose focus... Duh!?!                            
Looks like a lame tip but trust me it goes a long way. My way isn't just about shifting back our focus to the task at hand, but to start at the very beginning of the journey to not just remind ourselves, but also be able to motivate ourselves to a level that temporary setbacks shouldn't dent our confidence. 

The first step is to remember WHY we started down this path in the first place, our intent and motivation behind it, what we set out to accomplish and so on. The next thing we need to remind ourselves is about WHAT will happen if we let this change DISORIENT us, that is, look at the larger picture. Once we REFRAME our minds to get back on track, we'll go at it HARDER, STRONGER and BETTER. 

PRO TIP: WRITE IT DOWN as visual stimulation adds a lot of impact. 

Don't GLITCH because of a GLITCH!
Many researchers and experts suggest that the DISORIENTATION, SHOCK or FREEZE that we experience when there's a GLITCH in our plans is MAINLY because of trying to understand WHY this happened in the first place and in trying to understand the WHY, we often tend to REACT and figure out the HOW. 

The HOW is pointless as it wasn't our fault or in our hands. We all have things we cannot control and the best way to keep them from affecting us is to ACCEPT and be ready to ACKNOWLEDGE that it's natural to feel stuck, frozen, disoriented and so on. TAKE 5, that is, relax, take a step back, feel what you feel naturally (it might be anger, frustration, guilt, relief or anything else), finish the cycle and then RESET yourself to PLAN ahead.

Feel your feelings, think your thoughts, all while taking ONE STEP at a time
Usually, when something unexpected occurs or something devastating happens, we tend to go into an OVERDRIVE, let our pulse race, think a million thoughts AT ONETIME and OVERLOAD our psychological and physiological systems! 

Taking the above two points into consideration, the next step is to plan for the IMMEDIATE CONCERN, plan for the next one hour is what I suggest. No point in thinking ahead and going into an infinite tailspin. Seek support if required, ask for guidance, don't hesitate and also remember, that you're NOT ALONE.

Life's full of surprises, let's handle them like ZEN masters, calmly, peacefully... One at a time! 

Hoping to become your best ZEN guiding force.

With love and regards, 
Adarsh Benakappa Basavaraj
"The Coach"